Some people are so stupid

Some people are so stupid it hurts. Is there a simplier, easier to understand, less convoluted type of proof than a proof by contradiction. Yes, aparently there is... proof by, I'm older, wiser, and, most importantly, more mature than you.

Presenting anecdotal evidence of aberrence is not sufficient evidence to prove an argument invalid. Not ever. Not even if someone is arguing that "all young marriages are doomed". Just because your grandparents got married at 16 and were happy together for 80 years until they died does not make the above argument by an older, wiser, and, most importantly, more mature person false.

Your grandparents were not part of the set of all young marriages... either that or their marriage was secretly a disaster and nobody knew... I'm not quite sure which, but even without meeting your grandparents, I know that it was one or the other. After all, I'm older, wiser, and, most importantly, more mature.

Some people are so stupid it just hurts. I might have a hard time respecting people like that if they were not older, wiser, and most importantly more mature than I am.

I need to write about my feelings over and after Thanksgiving to try to understand my anger and frustration.

I was very upset about Josh spending so much time hiding in our room during the Thanksgiving holiday when his parents and sister were here. I was also very upset at how uncivil he was to his mother and sister. I was embarrassed by his behavior. I was confused about his wanting to have them here before they came and then not responding well when they showed up. I was angry that I felt like I had to do so much of the "hosting" by myself, when it was his family visiting.

We were both emotionally exhausted when they left. Josh wanted to deal with it with time by himself. I wanted to deal with it with time together, particularly when so much of my exhaustion was stemming from him--It is exhausting to have negative emotions toward him and I wanted to replace them with positive emotions. Josh was the one who got his way and his time alone. I understand that we function in very different ways, but I was still extremely hurt by this, on top of the negative emotions I had from earlier. Now that he's ready to spend time together, I hardly even want to, I'm so angry at him. I don't know how to express to him why I am upset, since he doesn't ever seem to understand how I can still be upset a whole week and a half later... but of course, I didn't want to talk with him about it at the time since he was really busy fighting over the stupidest things with everyone else who was around, and I didn't have the energy to deal with fighting with him when he was clearly not being capable of behaving rationally. I had hoped that continuing to be nice would give me the opportunity to figure out what was wrong to cause him to behave so horribly and help correct it constructively... but since what he wanted was to be left alone, that didn't really work very well. Instead, I just got to feel even more neglected.

Yeah, we have spent some quality time together since Thanksgiving doing things I wanted to do, but he has been so unenthusiastic about it. It's just not fun when it feels like he doesn't want to be there... when it feels like he'd rather be else where or doing something else, I just do not feel loved.

I was also very deeply hurt by the apology Josh made to his parents about not coming home for Christmas this year. It made it sound, to me, like if Josh had had his way, we would have spent Thanksgiving with my parents and Christmas with his. The thing is, Josh did have his way--it was *his* choice and *his* desire to have Thanksgiving with his parents and Christmas with mine (okay, he might have prefered to spend both with his parents, but he very much had his choice of which major holiday to spend with his parents this year). If he was a single person acting on his own, this would have been a totally reasonable and totally forgivable white lie... but as a married man, it naturally makes me out as the bad guy... as having drawn him away against his will. If it was true, it would still be infuriating to me, but as a purposely (or at least carelessly) given false impression, it is worse. Especially given right there in front of me, without any prior warning.

It also continues to make me angry the way coming home for every other Christmas is something he feels the need to apologize about. I think they should be greatful for our company one Christmas out of two. I don't think I will ever get over hating the way he sees visiting his parents on Christmas day as some sort of obligation... some sort of obligation that he doesn't even begin to meet by visiting them for December 17 - 23rd.

Excuse me while I vent

I was scheduled for a meeting at 7:30 this morning. Normally I work from 8:45am to 6pm, because that's when I can get good shuttle and train service to and from work. Today, I drove because of the meeting. Since I was driving, DH asked me to drop him off at the bus stop so he wouldn't have to walk in the cold (the *high* today is supposed to be like 15 degrees). We agreed to leave home at 6:50, he'd wait in the station for his 7am bus, and that should get me to work a couple minutes early for my meeting, since it takes about 25-30 minutes to drive to work when I'm not dropping him off. Well, he's "almost ready to go" at 6:40 and sits down to read his online comics (which frankly he would be free to read at school--no one else is in this early anyhow), and at 6:50, I tell him it is time to leave, and at about 6:59 we are out the door. I get him to the bus stop as his 7am bus (which is fortunately for him running late) is pulling away from the station, but he flags it down and gets on. I put the petal to the metal, but it doesn't really help since it just means I hit all the red lights (timed to be green for people driving the speed limit). I get to work at 7:29, and my meeting at 7:34 (it was at the other end of the complex--I ran) and get turned away at the door because it has already started.
I came back to my desk and emailed DH about it. I tried not to lay into him too much, but I think it is important for him to know when he makes me late... after all, if he doesn't know his behavior is causing a problem, he can't fix it. He responds with, I'm sorry, but we left at 6:50, and you said it only takes you 30 minutes to get to work, surely it doesn't take 10 extra minutes to drop me off at the bus stop. Did he not notice that he almost missed his bus? His 7am bus that he was supposed to be 10 minutes early for? He should have known that I was really down to the wire for me to get to my meeting on time... I really wish he would notice stuff like this on his own.
I'm also miffed at the people running the meeting. They make a big huge deal about coming to the "all hands" meeting during your designated time slot, but then I'm 4 minutes late, and they tell me to come back this afternoon... but show up 10 minutes early because the afternoon sessions keep filling up (no duh, 4 minutes late is not very late around here, I'm sure there are tons of people who tried to attend during their assigned times this morning and yesterday and got turned away at the door for being a few minutes late... no really, it's appauling how often people are late around here--often I'll be 2 or 3 minutes late to a meeting, but still the first one there).
Alright. It felt good to get that out of my system. Maybe I'll be able to concentrate on work now.